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Pandemic triggers a trend of 'Good Enough' parenting

At the beginning of the pandemic, parents wanted to take on the world while juggling a job and taking care of kids at home. They found it was unsustainable.

TOLEDO, Ohio — At the start of the pandemic, with kids making the transition to in-home learning, many parents, in turn, became super parents. They went the extra mile to entertain their kids with crafts and projects, all while juggling their own work needs until they were run ragged.

Victoria Albright is a mother of three. She had high hopes at the start of the pandemic. "At first, I was very much that mom. I wanted to be that Pinterest mom, 'like this is going to be fun. We're going to be doing home school,'" she recalls.

But as the pandemic went on and on she learned, that's impossible to sustain. Nature scavenger hunts turned into couch cushion fort building, followed by: "There've also been moments when I just turn on the TV sometimes because that's what I need to do to survive," says Victoria. 

And that was good enough. 

You'll never be a perfect parent, which experts say is just fine. "It is absolutely okay, we need to give ourselves more grace," says Dr. Aimee Drescher, a psychologist with Mercy Health. 

Early on in the pandemic, parents of young kids stepped up and became teacher or entertainer and an attentive parent. 

They made breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner and snack over and over again until they realized they could not parent so hard for the whole pandemic.

"You're trying to be a parent, you're trying to be a teacher, a babysitter, you're their best friend, you're trying to help them socialize. It's really been a lot of stress on parents," says Drescher.

By this fall, parents knew to keep their expectations low and just make it through the day. Experts say really kids just need a little bit of quality time with us. Drescher says, "It can be as simple as sitting down and eating dinner together or watching a show together."

Experts say to remember that if parents are stressed, they won't be able to help anyone. Set boundaries to be good enough, for your own health, because the pressure to constantly stimulate our kids is counterproductive.

Victoria recommends finding a good mom friend. She says, "Just to be able to vent to because it's ok to be exhausted. This has been an exhausting year and a half."

Victoria says to get through the days, she relies on hands-on activities that kids can do on their own like kinetic sand and playdough and try not to worry about the mess. "And there are days where the playdough sits on the floor for a week until we vacuum it up," says Victoria. 

Remember, we're allowed to be flawed. Being just "good enough" doesn't make you a bad parent, it just makes you a realistic one.

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